A Ghanaian Gentlemen's Club?

It’s Sunday morning and in line with my daily routine, I am checking up the news on the Joy FM’s website and BOOM, I’m hit with a headline about a Ghanaian Gentlemen’s Club making a donation to the Winneba municipal hospital.

Good thing to know there are still some kind souls out there but as to why the club, based in New York City, chose this as their name baffles me. Gentlemen’s Club?

When I first saw a Gentlemen’s Club in my JJC days I was excited, because like the curious person I am, I quickly inquired to know what it was all about. Truth be told, my thinking was that it was a place for grooming men to become gentlemen- the fairy tale type that all women dream about- thick, tall, smooth skin, toothpaste smile, manicured nails, clean shaven plus of course the ‘dough’. Wouldn’t have been a bad place to hang out at all, or? Wrong! I had the crudest shock of my life when I was told that gentlemen’s clubs in the United States were euphemisms for strip clubs.

I had heard about strip joints in news items and read about them in magazines, but I never thought it was a viable venture anywhere in the world. Men would basically drive to these clubs, buy drinks, and watch some 12-inch waist, in a G-s and what my father still calls ‘bodies’—but not the full one. Rather they use something called ‘pasties’, and with that the stripper wriggles her waist at a bunch of excited and alcohol-loaded men who keep cheering and making catcalls which contrary to its definition smacks of approval rather than disapproval.

In the US it is described as a five-billion-dollar industry that contributes to over a fifth of the gross revenue in the adult entertainment industry. Services provided at these clubs include erotic strip dances or lap dances where the dancer can come, sit on a man’s lap, and ‘shake it off’ to the glee of others. The dancers make lots of money too.

There are basically two types of strip clubs: topless and fully nude. I am sure these are self explanatory. For some of the fully nude, they are covered by ‘no touch’ legislation which means the only one of the senses that you can put to use is that of sight.

I have never stopped questioning why anyone would want to tease themselves needlessly, but I am always told in response that this country is so stressful that anything that will relieve people of their stress is highly welcome and so strip clubs or gentlemen’s clubs have come to stay.

Aha, and that reminds me. Is it true there is one such club in Accra? Hmmm if it is true, God save us! My concern about this group that made the donation is why they chose to bear the name of a ‘Ghanaian Gentlemen Club’ coming from New York City which is known as having the largest number of such clubs. Is that the same name the group uses in New York?

I hope it is not a case of ‘sua tra’ (over copying) which most of us suffer from once we travel abroad and return home and become more Catholic than the Pope. If that were the case, I will not be surprised if we hear that someone has started an ‘Ashley Madison’ type of agency in Ghana where married people who decide to have a one-night stand can go and find another married person, have sex for the night, and go back to their marital homes. Then you can feel cool about it knowing that ‘Life is short, have an affair’ as is Ashley Madison’s slogan.

Growing up, I have come to believe strongly that there is so much power in a name and whatever name one chooses to live with has an overwhelming spiritual effect on that person. I want to believe that this group that made the donation to the Winneba hospital is made up of good-spirited people with every sense of responsibility to their country and their people. My question to them, however, is: how will people react to your association’s name in New York City?

Maybe, you are only living out your nature as gentlemen but you need to think about how you want to portray that identity in a name. There is a lot of wisdom in tradition imbuing in us a sense of decency, morality, and dignity.

Some people choose to swallow hook, line, and sinker anything that emanates from the white man’s land, but as a people we need to ask ourselves at what cost we decide to trade our traditional virtues for Uncle Sam’s bucks.

At what cost? At what cost? At what cost again, I ask, are we willing to trade dignity, respect, and human values for pittance. A good name, indeed, is better than great riches (Prov. 22: 1); let him who has ears and decides to listen, so listen.

Mad Cow, Bird Flu, Swine Flu…what next?

If you have ever suffered a common flu or what in ‘less-distinguished’ Ghanaian parlance is referred to as catarrh, you would know that it is not a pleasant experience, more so if it comes in that fever-like style.

That kind of flu is rather common in the States, particularly, at the onset of the winter where flu vaccines abound and students are encouraged to go get a shot at a subsidized cost of 25 bucks.

Many people rush to take shots and still some are unfortunate to catch the flu, except that as I am told, they do not suffer it as badly as those who never take the shot. Once when I almost caught one, I subjected myself to a full day’s gulping of my home-made warm drink of lemon juice, honey, and ginger. By the next day I was back to my feet and my colleagues at work marveled at the African wonder which some of them immediately added to their medical need-to-dos.

I am not surprised that Americans have taken their Vice President Joe Biden to task for suggesting that people avoid clustered areas like airports and subways to avoid a further spread of the swine flu which has since been labeled ‘Novel Flu’ in Europe and the ‘H1N1 Influenza Strain’ in the United States to save the pork industry. The industry is suffering huge losses due to the label and a ban on pork products by many countries, as a result.

"If you're out in the middle of a field and someone sneezes, that's one thing but if you're in a closed aircraft or closed container or closed car or closed classroom, it's a different thing”, is all it took from the Vice President to incur the wrath of Americans.

It is understandable why people will be angry at Mr. Biden’s advice that people avoid confined areas - if for nothing at all I am convinced that whoever introduced basic hygienic practices is not American. I have never stopped questioning who brought about the idea of giving us lessons in ‘Courtesy for Boys and Girls’ and teaching us to cover our mouths when we sneezed or not to spit in open places.

Some Americans are awful when it comes to maintaining hygienic practices. There is nothing like covering your mouth when you sneeze or cough and it does not matter how dramatic the sneeze is and whether it is in the classroom, on the bus, or in confined spaces. One is constantly subjected to sneezes and yawning and copious dozes of sputum as people dispose of mucus and saliva irrespective of where they find themselves.

And this is just the public-place habits that one sees all too often. The least said about some of the things that go on indoors the better.

This is not to say that Ghanaians are any better. But for a country whose citizens can hardly think of simple remedies for common ailments, it becomes difficult to understand why measures are not taken to avoid situations and conditions which can quickly degenerate into pandemics and lead to the possible loss of lives.

For now Biden is taking a lot of flak for his advice but very soon I am sure people will begin to appreciate why he is not being as irresponsible as he is being made to look. Until some basic hygienic lessons are learned it will always be difficult to contain the spread of flu.

In a swift move to save the airline industry, authorities have moved to explain how air circulates in aircrafts and how that makes it difficult for a lot of people to inhale what others exhale when they sneeze. The explanation, however, confirmed that even with the air circulation system people sharing the same seat line cannot escape possibly catching a flu if an infected passenger on that line sneezes.

While it is hoped that the Centers for Disease Control and its allied agencies will move to contain the spread of the flu, some have resorted to taking precautionary measures some of which I find ridiculous but in no way surprising - that is the American way of doing things.

Now people traveling to Texas (which shares a border with Mexico) in particular are being asked to stay home for a number of days before they go out just so the three-day incubation period of the virus will elapse before a determination is made about whether one has caught the flu or not. Others are advocating no handshakes. Most ridiculous of all is the advice that people should cook their own food. The definition of cooking in America is quite interesting but that will be tackled in another piece.

Suddenly everyone is being advised to cover their noses and mouths with a disposable tissue when they cough or sneeze or use the crook of their elbows to cover their mouths to keep germs from flying around.

Old habits, they say, die hard, and it is difficult to teach an old dog new tricks. Well maybe in a matter of life and death, as this flu is described, it may be easy to teach an old dog some new tricks. Who knows, maybe by the time the ‘domedos’ are dealt with we may begin to see some better hygienic public practices and we will not be afraid to be in confined places.